


The Genius and the Pirate

by arianapeterson19



Series: Avengers Shorts [48]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Adopted Tony, Insecure Tony, Insecure Tony Stark, Kid Tony Stark, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Clint Barton, Protective Hulk, Protective Nick Fury, Protective Phil Coulson, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-26
Updated: 2016-06-04
Packaged: 2018-07-10 09:16:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6977338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arianapeterson19/pseuds/arianapeterson19
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony did not need a babysitter, thank you very much. And Nick Fury was the director of SHIELD, he was not running a daycare. But Phil had somehow filled out the correct paperwork so Fury had no choice.</p><p>OR</p><p>The one where Fury has to be a nanny and Tony isn't excited.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meeting the Pirate

“Alright kiddo,” said Clint. “You ready to meet our friend Nick?”

“I guess,” said Tony, swinging his legs against the couch.

Tony didn’t look particularly happy about the entire situation. He had been living with Clint and Phil for almost two months and had adjusted wonderfully to life with them. He still had nightmares, still hated sitting alone in the back of a car, but he was also energetic and curious. They had started Tony in therapy about a month before and was getting along well with Bruce. But for the first time, Clint and Phil were being called to go on a mission at the same time – a short one, just a few days – so Tony needed to stay with someone.

“Do you have to go?” asked Tony quietly.

“Hey,” said Clint, sitting down next to Tony on the couch. “We aren’t leaving until tomorrow morning. You’re just meeting Nick tonight. It’ll be fine.”

“But you’re coming back, right?” said Tony.

“Always,” said Clint. 

Tony nodded to himself and kicked his feet some more. Hulk looked up from his spot on the ground in front of Tony before jumping up and sniffing at the door, his tail wagging. Two seconds later there was a firm knock on the door and Clint rose to answer it.

“Hello Nick,” said Clint, letting in a tall man dressed all in black with an eye patch. Phil had warned Tony about the eye patch so the little boy wouldn’t be surprised but Tony still thought the man looked like a pirate. “Thanks for coming over.”

“As long as I’m not on babysitting duty every time you get sent on a mission,” said Nick, his mouth twisted in a frown.

“That’s what you get for promising us three months of no missions and then assign us one anyway,” said Phil drily. “Next time make sure Steve or Bucky are in town. Tony likes them.”

“And where is the little brat?” asked Nick.

“I’m not a brat,” said Tony, glaring up at the pirate. “I’m Tony and I’m smarter than you.”

“I doubt that,” said Nick, looking down his nose at the small human.

Tony slid off the couch and ran to Phil, who was in the kitchen finishing up the meal. Phil immediately looked down at his son and waited for Tony to convey what he wanted. Tony didn’t say anything, just leaned against Phil’s leg, one hand fisting the fabric. Phil sighed and rubbed Tony’s messy hair before going back to plating the meal one handed – the other remained firmly on Tony.

When dinner was ready, Tony sat in his usual spot at the table, which meant that Nick had to sit across from him because Clint and Phil both sat at the ends. 

“Tony, why don’t you tell Nick a little about yourself,” suggested Phil in an attempt to draw the boy out of his shell.

“My name is Anthony but everyone calls me Tony,” said Tony sullenly, poking his fork at his noodles savagely. “I’m smart and I’m difficult but Dr. Bruce says that’s just because my brain doesn’t know how to react to all the things I understand. I like building things and I take Hulk on walks every day.”

“Okay,” said Nick, a little uncertain on how to handle a pouting child.

“Your turn,” said Tony.

“My turn?”

“Yeah, I told you things so now you have to tell me things,” said Tony with an eye roll. “That’s how this works. Dr. Bruce says if you want someone to tell you things you have to tell them stuff too. So, your turn.”

Clint hid a grin but refused to bail Nick out of it.

“My name is Nick Fury,” said Nick slowly. “I’m the director of SHEILD, where your fathers work.”

“How did you lose your eye?” asked Tony.

“Tony,” chided Phil while Clint sniggered. “We talked about this.”

“No, you said not to call him a pirate. I didn’t call him a pirate, I asked him what happened to his eye.”

Phil put his head in his hands while Clint gave up and laughed loudly.

“I lost it in a fight,” said Nick. “What happened to your parents?”

Everyone at the table froze. Tony had never talked about his birth parents before, nothing more than sobbing about little things after a nightmare or panic attack.

“They died in a car accident,” said Tony eventually, not breaking eye contact with Nick.

For a moment the two looked at each other, and then something broke and Nick nodded approvingly. It seemed Tony had passed whatever test Nick had been running. 

“So what do I need to know about this whole child caring shit?” demanded Nick, turning his attention to Phil.

“First, we refrain from using words like that,” said Phil. “And secondly you have to keep Tony with you while we are gone. Tony is smart, he knows where everything is and what to do – we left a list of instructions on the counter for you – but you can’t leave him alone.”

“I have work,” said Nick.

“Then bring Tony with you,” said Clint. “Take Hulk so he can assist with the change of environment but Tony’s a good kid, you’ll behave, won’t you Tony?”

“You have labs where you work, right?” said Tony, suddenly eager. “Can I see them? I promise not to make a mess, I just want to see.”

“No lab time without supervision,” said Clint.

“And Hulk does not count as supervision,” said Phil, though it was difficult to say if he was telling Tony or Nick.

“Bedtime is pretty easy,” said Clint, turning back to Nick. “Tony will take a shower – no bath. Then you read him a story or you can tell him a story, your choice. Then he goes to bed. His night light is in the corner. Hulk will probably sleep with him, which is fine.”

“Tony does get nightmares,” said Phil.

“Hey!” grumbled Tony.

“Just keep his door cracked open and your door open so you can hear if he needs you.”

“I won’t,” mumbled Tony, crossing his arms.

“He has a meeting with Bruce tomorrow afternoon,” said Clint. “Phil already sent you the agenda but make sure he goes. Normally one of us stays in the room but Tony can decide if he wants you there or not.”

“You know how to contact us if you need us,” said Phil. “Tony, is there anything else we need to make sure Nick knows?”

“I don’t eat seafood,” said Tony. “And Hulk gets to come with me. Dr. Bruce says so.”

That alone told Nick more about the mental state of the kid than anything else had. The director had assumed that Phil was overreacting when he said the kid had PTSD and all those other things but if Bruce approved the use of Hulk then it must be serious. Tony clearly hadn’t caught on to what it meant but one look from Phil confirmed that indeed, Tony wasn’t that different from several of his agents. That, Nick knew how to handle.

It was going to be an interesting few days.


	2. Eating Habits

Tony woke himself up screaming.

“You’re okay, baby,” said Phil, who was on nightmare duty, entering the room and picking Tony up. “You’re okay.”

“You can’t leave,” sobbed Tony, clinging to Phil’s neck as though his life depended on it. “You can’t – you can’t leave.”

“Baby, it’s okay,” cooed Phil, walking back into the room he shared with Clint. 

The archer was already awake – it was almost five in the morning, there would be no going back to sleep when Nick was due to arrive in an hour. Phil sat back on the bed and Clint cuddled up. Tony reached out and Clint took him off of Phil.

“What’s wrong, kiddo?” said Clint quietly, wrapping the spare small blanket they kept for moments like this around Tony’s shoulders.

“Don’t leave me,” said Tony.

“Honey, we’re coming back,” said Clint. “We’ll call every night before bedtime. You’ll have lots of fun with Nick. And you’re going to see Dr. Bruce today. You like seeing him.”

“I like being with you more,” sniffed Tony.

“But Hulk is going to need you to take care of him while we’re gone. Are you going to feed Hulk every day?”

“Hulk has to eat breakfast and dinner,” replied Tony softly.

“That’s right,” said Clint. “See? Nick wouldn’t know that and then poor Hulk would be hungry all the time.”

“Then write it down and Nick can feed him and I can come with you.”

“Honey, you can’t. We have a very serious job that doesn’t allow us to bring you with us when we have assignments. But it’s only going to be a couple of days and then we will be back. You won’t even have time to miss us.”

Tony didn’t look convinced but settled down as long as Clint continued to hold him and Phil didn’t leave the room. The one time Phil walked out to the kitchen to make breakfast, Tony started having a panic attack that only began to settle when Clint went into the living room so Tony could still see Phil working. When Nick knocked on the door an hour later, Clint answered with Tony still attached to his neck.

“Hey,” said Clint with a giant yawn, moving aside to let Nick into the apartment. “Phil’s grabbing out bags. Tony’s all changed for the day. He’s had a rough morning but he’s already eaten, so after you get settled you can head into work with him if you want. Hulk has to sit in the back of the car with Tony and Tony’s seat is by the door. Anything else Nick needs to know, kiddo?”

Clint bounced Tony lightly, hoping for a verbal response but only receiving a soft whine and a few tears.

“Okay buddy,” said Clint with a sigh. “Then we have to head out. We’ll call you tonight. I love you. Take good care of Hulk.”

With a quick kiss to the top of Tony’s head, Clint handed the boy off to Phil.

“I love you, Tony,” said Phil. “We’ll see you soon. Be good for Nick.”

Phil set Tony on the couch with Hulk and slowly walked to the door with Phil, both men waiting on some sort of communication from their child, but Tony stayed obstinately silent. With a wave a two more declarations of love, Clint and Phil were gone, leaving Tony and Nick in the apartment.

“Well,” said Nick. “I’m going to put my shit in the bedroom and then we are heading to work.”

Tony didn’t respond. He stroked Hulk’s soft fur and refused to look up. When Nick returned, Tony climbed off the couch and went to the door, taking Hulk’s harness off and putting it on the still dog – not that Hulk needed the physical reminder when he could already tell how unsettled Tony was. 

“Let’s go then,” said Nick, walking out the door.

“I have to have my seat,” said Tony.

“What?”

“My seat for the car,” said Tony, rolling his eyes. “I’m too small to ride without one. It’s against the rules. It’s right there.”

Nick lifted the indicated item and then locked the door behind them when Tony willingly followed him out the door. The black SUV was tall and Tony had to climb in order to get inside. Hulk joined him and helped keep Tony calm during the car ride to SHIELD. Then they followed Nick into the building, past security, and down the halls. Tony looked around in interest, having only been in the building a few times. Dr. Bruce had an office in the building but Tony normally went to his smaller one that was closer to his home.

“Come on,” growled Nick, looking back to see Tony falling behind. “Let’s go.”

“My leg’s are shorter than yours,” grumbled Tony, running to catch up. “You have to walk slower.”

“You have to walk faster.”

When they reached Nick’s office, Tony turned in a careful circle, taking everything in. It was large, the desk taking up a fair portion of the room. Glass windows lined the wall with the door but could be blacked out if needed. There weren’t any potted plants and the chairs in front of the desk looked uncomfortable. Tony also noted that there was no place for him to sit, unless Nick expected him to sit on one of those chairs – which was not going to happen.

“So where am I supposed to sit?” asked Tony when Nick had settled at his desk and turned on his computer.

“Out of the way,” said Nick, not looking up from his work.

“Come on, Hulk,” said Tony. “Let’s sit over there.”

The morning passed with Tony and Hulk sitting in the far corner. Tony had brought a back pack with him and worked on a math book Phil had given him. Hulk lay curled around Tony so the child could lean back against him. When lunch time came and went with Nick not taking a break, Tony realized he would have to remind the man about eating.

“Nick,” said Tony, standing up and going over to Nick’s desk.

Nick didn’t respond.

“Nick, I’m hungry,” said Tony.

“What?” said Nick, finally looking away from his computer.

“I’m hungry,” repeated Tony. “And I have to meet with Dr. Bruce in an hour.”

“Banner doesn’t have any appointments before then,” said Nick. “Go see him – he’s in his lab, which is next to his office – ask him to feed you. I’m busy.”

Tony sighed and grabbed Hulk’s leash and together they headed into the much busier hallway. The amount of new people made Tony uneasy, so he pressed closer to Hulk and started wandering around. Most of the people ignored him but a few shot him confused looks.

“Hey kid,” said a firm female voice. “What are you doing here?”

Tony turned around and saw a woman with red hair standing in a pencil skirt, looking down on him.

“I’m looking for Dr. Bruce Banner,” said Tony, his voice quavering, one hand holding Hulk’s leash the other clenching the dog’s fur.

“Why?”

“I have an appointment with him.”

“His office is this way,” said the woman. “Where are your parents?”

“On a mission,” said Tony.

“Oh, you must be Phil’s son. I’m Virginia Potts.”

Tony followed Ms. Potts down several halls and an elevator before recognizing Bruce’s office. However, instead of entering the office like Tony had expected, Ms. Potts opened the door next to it.

“Cool!” said Tony, running into the lab with Hulk, looking at everything. “This is so neat! Look at all the things you can do, Hulk!”

“Pepper, what do you need?” asked Bruce.

“I found a visitor looking for you,” said Ms. Potts, nodding down at Tony and Hulk, both of whom were examining a printer.

“Tony, I thought we weren’t supposed to meet for another hour,” said Bruce, setting aside a vial and washing his hands.

“Nick said I was supposed to find you and you would feed me,” said Tony. “Nick wouldn’t feed me and I’m hungry. His office is boring and I finished my book and he doesn’t have anywhere to sit.”

“Wait, Nick Fury?” said Ms. Potts, her eyes narrowing in thought.

“Yeah, he’s supposed to be looking after me.”

“I’ll go talk to him,” said Ms. Potts, looking over Tony at Bruce. “You get Tony here fed.”

Bruce gave Tony a peanut butter sandwich and some crackers from his own lunch and sat down in the office to have their appointment early.

It wasn’t a productive meeting; Tony was unwilling to talk too much and wouldn’t let go of Hulk the entire time. Bruce could tell the boy missed his fathers and that it was going to be hard on him until they got back home. Bruce made a note to talk to Nick about not sending Clint and Phil out at the same time. The doctor knew that had been the original plan and needed to find out why it had changed because it was impacting the mental health of his client and, quite frankly, the most adorable little kid Bruce had ever seen. After their meeting, Bruce showed Tony his lab and answered all of the boy’s questions. When it was almost dinner time, Bruce walked Tony back to Fury’s office and dropped the boy off.

“You need to take Tony home now, get him something to eat, and put him to bed,” said Bruce to the director.

“I know how to take care of a kid,” snapped Nick.

“I’d believe you more if you had fed him lunch,” said Bruce mildly. “Now feed him dinner. You and I will be having a discussion in a few days. It’s already in your schedule.”

Bruce left before Nick could protest. The director pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration; this was not how he wanted his day to go. Pepper Potts had yelled at him and then spent his own money to purchase things like a chair and desk for the kid. The mission – which was supposed to be simple – was turning out to be simple but a pain in the ass. And now the kid needed to be fed again and be put to bed, ending Nick’s working time earlier than he wanted.

“Fine, let’s go,” sighed Nick.

Nick ended up picking up food on the way home. It was from a tiny place that only served soup; Nick loved it and was too tired to think of anything else. He brought the food up to the apartment and set it on the coffee table while Tony removed Hulk’s harness and fed the dog.

“We eat at the table,” said Tony.

“Well tonight you’re eating at the coffee table,” said Nick.

“You’re grumpy,” said Tony.

“And you’re annoying,” snapped Nick, his frustrations at the day shining through. “Eat your soup.”

With a huff, Tony sat down and dug into the Styrofoam bowl of soup. After a few bites, he paused.

“What’s in this?” asked Tony, cocking his head to the side in a thoughtful expression.

“I think beef, celery, carrots, shrimp, clams, chicken broth –“

“Seafood?” squeaked Tony.

“Yeah,” said Nick dismissively.

Hulk began growling and sniffing at Tony’s face. Tony coughed a little, his breathing started coming in little wheezes.

“What’s the matter with you?” asked Nick, leaning around the massive dog and catching sight of Tony’s splotchy red face. “Kid?”

“S-sea,” coughed Tony, falling forward against Hulk, small hands scrabbling weakly at his neck.

“Shit,” cursed Nick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm convinced that Fury eats soup as his favorite meal.
> 
> Always,  
> Ari


	3. Held

At the hospital, Nick paced the hall outside of the room Tony was in. The director had rushed the boy to the hospital when he realized that Tony’s condition was only getting worse. The doctors were still working on getting Tony into a stabilized condition but it was slow going because they couldn’t get the kid to calm down.

“Where the hell are you?” growled Nick into his phone, calling Phil Coulson for the third time in as many hours. 

“You’re the one who insisted on both of us going out on a mission,” snapped Phil from the other end, driving entirely too fast and ignoring all traffic laws to get to his child faster.

“The kid won’t calm down,” said Nick, glaring through the open door where Tony was crying on the bed, trying to get away from the doctors and nurses. “He’s worked himself into a panic and won’t let the doctors touch him. They can’t subdue him because of the reaction but if he doesn’t calm down he’s going to make himself worse.”

“Where’s Hulk?” said Clint, snatching the phone away from his husband so he could focus on driving and Clint could focus on the conversation. “Tony needs Hulk. He’s probably confused and terrified and in a new place with no one he recognizes.”

“I left the dog at the apartment,” admitted Nick.

“Fucking hell,” groaned Clint. “We’ll be there in ten minutes but you have to get in that room and try to calm Tony down now. So help me Fury but I left my baby in your care and you didn’t even make it a full day! If I arrive at that hospital and Tony isn’t semi-calm there will be hell to pay, do you understand?”

Nick hung up instead of answering and marched into the hospital room with his very best battle face on.

“Every, get the fuck away from that bed,” roared Nick.

Surprised, the doctor and nurses all stepped away. Nick picked Tony up, holding him under the arms, and kept him at arms length while looking in his still swollen red eyes.

“Now brat,” said Nick. “Your fathers are almost here and if they come in and find you panicking then I’m going to be in even more trouble, so you got to pull it together.”

Tony continued to cry and with a sigh – as a last resort – Nick pulled Tony in to a hug. He was shocked when Tony instantly latched on and wrapped his short arms around the director’s neck. Nick hadn’t dealt with many children but he was fairly certain it was a good thing if they hugged you. When he swayed from one foot to the other like he had seen Clint doing that morning, it seemed to calm Tony down a little. They boy was still having a hard time catching his breath but his tears had slowed. 

“Where is he?” yelled Clint, skidding down the hall. “Where’s Tony?”

Tony looked up when he heard Clint’s voice. When the archer made it into the room, shoving through shocked nurses and an irate doctor, Tony threw out his arms and leaned away from Nick in an attempt to reach him.

“Daddy!” gasped Tony, his voice rough.

Clint took Tony from the director and held the boy close, bouncing him lightly to soothe him, torn between wanting to laugh with joy that Tony had finally called him daddy for the first time and wanting to cry at how miserable his little boy was. In the end, Phil took over, arriving in the room after parking the car illegally close to the doors.

“Clint, sit on the bed with Tony,” said Phil. “They need to get an IV into him.”

Clint sat down on the bed, turning Tony gently so the boy was leaning against his chest but his hands were free for the nurses to reinsert the IV of fluids they had been running before. Tony whimpered and stayed where he was because Clint kept talking to him the entire time.

“Director, we will be speaking in the morning,” said Phil, dismissing his boss before turning to his family.

Because their patient was calming down and receiving fluids, the nurses left. The doctor had already taken his leave after assuring Phil that Tony could go home in a few hours. At last, the hospital room was quiet with just Clint, Phil, Tony, and Nick left.

“Hey baby,” said Phil, perching on the edge of the bed, running a hand through Tony’s hair, smiling down at the miserable little boy on his husbands lap. “How you feeling?”

“Tired,” said Tony. “Can we go home now?”

“Not yet, baby,” said Phil. “Soon, but you need to rest a little before we go.”

“Nick,” said Clint.

“Yes?” said Nick, who had been hovering awkwardly in the corner of the room.

“Mission complete,” reported Clint. “And don’t expect either of us in for a few days.”

Nick nodded. He knew it wasn’t the end of it but it was the least he could do, giving his agents a few days after he almost killed their kid. When he had arrived in the morning, Nick had shoved the note Phil had given him in his pocket and not bothered reading it. While he had been waiting for the doctors to fix Tony, he had taken the note out and read it for lack of something better to do. In that letter – which was more of a list than a letter, split into sections – under the title of ‘Important’ was information about how Tony was very allergic to seafood and that his epipen was in the kitchen drawer next to the sink. Nick felt like an ass; the entire situation could have been avoided if he had just read the damn paper and not assumed that Phil was being overly worried for no reason.

When Nick was gone, Phil leaned over to get a closer look at Tony. Most of the swelling in his face had gone down, though his skin was still blotchy, eyes red – though that could have been from crying – and lips a bit swollen. He was running a slight fever and overall looked like the picture of despair, his head resting against Clint’s chest, right over his heart.

“How was the rest of your day?” asked Phil softly. “Did you do anything fun?”

“Nick’s pretty boring,” said Tony. “But Dr. Bruce showed me his lab. That was pretty cool. I liked seeing your work. Ms. Pepper was nice.”

“That’s good,” said Phil.

“Hey Tony?” said Clint.

“Yes Daddy?” asked Tony, looking up at Clint.

“Why don’t you get some rest, kiddo? We’ll see about getting you home but you must be pretty tired, you’ve had a big day.”

“Don’t leave,” said Tony, suddenly very concerned.

“I’ll be right here.”

Tony nodded and closed his eyes. In a short amount of time, his breathing evened out and he fell asleep. 

“So, daddy?” said Phil, raising an eyebrow at Clint.

Clint just smiled smugly back at his husband and cuddled Tony closer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any ideas on what to write next for Adopted Tony?
> 
> Always,  
> Ari

**Author's Note:**

> I have a zillion favorites but Tiny Tony is one of them. 
> 
> I also have a headcannon where Tony's favorite comfort food is mashed potatoes. 
> 
> Always,  
> Ari


End file.
